Mind Against Soul
by JJkatarei
Summary: Young rebel girl, Yumi Ayano, scarred by a destructive past joins a resistance against the government & begins her journey disguised as a boy into a world of guns and mysteries. She battles to find the truth behind her past while discovering other things that she had failed to expect she would encounter such as the stoic Ludwig Beilschmidt. This is her battle between mind and soul.


This is rated Teen 13+

discalimer: I do not own Hetalia. This is completely original and if I have accidentally done something similar to someone elses work i apologize in advance. Please enjoy :)

Chapter One: Breaking Spirits

"Good evening, troops. Today, as you may already know, is the day we carry out _Operation Ausrotten (*Wipeout in German)_. You ingrates had better feel special because, today, you become more than just the oppressed. Today, you will become the liberators." The voice echoed loudly in the damp, vacuous room filled with soldiers brimmed in adrenaline. Muscles tensed as they heard the inspiring message, ready to fight. Sitting in the middle of the large group was a young boy about 16. At least, that's what everyone had thought. The young child fought like a boy, ate like a boy and slept like one. However, little did they know that that "boy" was a girl.

One more thing. That girl is me. My name is Yumi Ayano, combat specialist and sharp shooter, but everyone calls me Yu. In case you're wondering, yes, I am in a debriefing room somewhere underground in Germany. I am currently dressed as a boy because the sexist officers wouldn't let females in. I also have a goal. What's that goal you ask? To avenge my mother. I adjusted the cap on my head as I yearned to rearrange my long hazel hair that was bound under an itchy wig. It was a miracle how all of my hair could fit under the "boy cut" wig. For the record, no one had liked my dark colored hair in middle school, but it was my precious memento from my mother and, just like that bully who foolishly tried to cut it in Grade 5, I would beat up anyone who threatened to mess with it which is why I am dealing with this wig at the moment. My chocolate colored eyes looked to my right.

Beside me sat Asuna Kimino. She, yes she, was one of the closest allies I had. Contrasting to my dark hazel, her blonde was a bright dazzling gold. Unlike me, Asuna cut her hair to a short length to play the tedious role of a boy. However, it was still silky and soft. "Pay attention everyone!" the booming voice of the bald headed, dark skinned commander pulled me back to the debriefing session. He wore a camo suit, fastened at the waist by a matching belt. His face wore a perpetual disapproving expression as he headed towards the small presentation board with the heavy thumping of his steel toed boots.

"The goal of this mission," he continued "is to destroy the branch headquarters where the government weapons are stored. It will be heavily guarded. Our hit point will be 3 hours from here and you will be transported by armed vehicles where you will continue your mission on foot. Aside from highly armed soldiers you will be dealing with barbed wire, cannons, well... basically any weapon could be possible. It is a weapon base, ya idiots!"

Soft chuckling resounded in the room, including my own. "Expect it when you least expect it. Remember that. For some of you this will be your first mission. But whether it is your first or 100th time, let's show them what we got. This is our chance. Good Luck."

Yep. Good luck to all first timers. I'll need that.

"Dismissed!"

Heh. '_Expect it when you least expect it'_ is it? After the experiences I had, I think I got the "expect" covered.

**10 years earlier... (flashback)**

"Momma! Momma! Look at me!" "Be careful, Yumi! You're only six! We don't want you breaking your neck over a silly swing accident." I swung high in my seat, enjoying the breeze and falling sensation through out my body in my small blue dress with a white ribbon around the waist. The morning sun was brighter than ever and my heart felt warm just like how the sun warmed the dew-dropped park. In the middle of the next swing I felt two arms wrap around me and tug me off the seat. Laughing, my mother swung me around three times before setting me down on the grass and sitting beside me. Her gleaming hazel hair shifted in the wind and her heart shaped, fair face displayed the most loving smile I had ever seen. Her dimples were sweet and her eyes were full of confidence. In short, she was strong and beautiful. I loved the way she smiled at me in her spring green skirt and light white blouse. It could calm even the worst of my sadnesses. Little did I know, that would be the last time I would see it.

It was 6:00 pm. "Mom! I'm going to get some ice cream from the store!" "Okay, Be careful, dear. Look both ways before you cross. Don't talk to strangers. And always walk with your phone out at all times and-"

"Okay, okay, I get it." I clutched my stuffed green bunny with pride, which was, I admit, pretty ironic considering I said, "I'm a big girl now. I can take care of myself." My mother's soft lips planted a kiss on my forehead before she let me go.

The ice cream was sweet. It was my favorite flavor: Green tea. "Ah! It's melting." Frantically wiping up the dripping cream, I turned the corner to my neighborhood. But what stood before me was not a row of houses. It was a line of rubble. My house was shattered and burning. The acrid smell of sulfur and heat made it difficult to breathe as I made my way towards what was left of my happy home. It was so hot that just by being near a fire, I felt like my skin would be burned clean off my flesh. Suddenly, two familiar arms scooped me up and the rubble was flashing past me. I looked up filled with relief and disbelief.

"Mom!" My mother, with me in her arms, hid behind a building wall that, miraculously, still stood despite having its upper half now scattered across the pavement.

My mother swiftly moved among the rubble until she stopped abruptly at a certain pile of debris. "Yumi. Yumi, look at me." My confused eyes switched to my mother's face. "You are going to hide very quietly under here." She lifted a large, charred board of wood and revealed a small space in which a small child my size could fit in. "You will hide here until all the soldiers are gone. Do not make a sound. When it is safe and you don't see anymore soldiers, I want you to head north towards the church. They will take care of you." Soldiers? What is she talking about? Then I realized, "What about you mom? Aren't you coming with me?" She paused. For a moment, I could see sadness in her strong clear eyes, full of resolve. "Not this time, honey. Mommy has something to do. But I will always be with you. No matter what happens. Be brave. I love you." The heavy sound of boots came to our attention. The crunching approach had put us both on alert. "Quickly, Yumi."

I crawled into what could be considered a crevice and tucked my body into a small ball as close to the back of it as I could. With one last look, as if she wanted to say more, my mother closed the board and steadily walked away from where I was hiding. That's when I heard it. "You! Halt!" A voice clashed against my ears like hammer striking steel. My mother stopped in her tracks. Sure enough, a soldier, dressed in a black uniform that made him look even deadlier than he already did, pointed a pistol at my mother's head. With an even voice my mother replied "I'll come with you. But let me ask you this. Why are you tormenting our neighborhood when we have nothing to give you?" The jet black haired soldier snickered with amusement as if what my mother said was a joke that just couldn't be ignored. "You've given us plenty already. Oh, and- *Bang*

"We don't need any prisoners." The form that was my mother framed in the blistering fire cocked its head and the body followed until all was seen was a shadow sprawled on the floor of our crumbling community.

I was numb. The hiding spot suddenly seemed to shrink and I found it hard to breathe as if an invisible force had gripped me by the throat and squeezed it shut. I couldn't gasp. I couldn't cry. My mind wouldn't process anything except the lifeless shadow and the tall soldier in black. Black. He was totally dressed in black along with his ink black hair which contrasted with his pale face like _death_ himself. His pitch black colored uniform clanked with pinned on medals and badges like makeshift bells that signified the passing of a soul. But what was worse was his face. I felt my eyes widen and mouth gape when I saw the bone white of his teeth flash in a big grin over his latest kill before he walked off with the same crunching sound he came with like the ground couldn't help but give way to his ominous footsteps.

After what seemed like hours, I took my first shaky step out into the open towards the shadow. Like a newborn calf, my feet shakily took me to my mother. The world of black was now filled with red. Blood. Blood seeped between the pavement grooves and covered the brave face that had always welcomed me home. That brave face could no longer smile. It was cold and would forever stare into the far unknown. Coming into vision was a small pair of hands, which I later realized were my own, that shook while reaching towards the staring face. _North, towards the church._ My mother's words resounded in my head. Half stumbling and sprinting, my body used its last bit of strength to make it north. The smoke stung the throat and eyes making it nearly impossible to stay upright. The sight of blurry images passed by me. Dead body. Crumbled roof. Dead boy. Blood. Smoke. Flame. Disaster.

At the church, multiple little children, each with tattered clothes, huddled on the church porch. Shortly, women dressed in the church abby's clothing came and started to drape cloaks upon the broken children. Looking down at the blue-backed dirt colored dress I was wearing, I began to regain my ability to think while hazel hair fell across my face. A force pulled my sight back to the south where smoke was rising, filling the sky with its bloated body. _My mother is gone. I have no one left. _Warmth was dripping down my cheeks and leaving a cold emptiness within me, There was nothing left. I felt broken as if someone had split me open and tore everything that was supposed to be in there out. Hollow, empty, fragile little girl. That was me. I felt no emotions except one that was rising, filling itself into every open space available in me. It was anger. _Soldiers. They took everything from me. They killed my mother. _They- I could have thought of a whole list of wrongs those fiends had done to me. However, one thought took the throne in my head. _I'm going to kill them_. That was my resolve. Even if I got my hands dirty, even if I had to learn the same way to handle a pistol, I was going to kill them. "Excuse me, dear one," It was one of the church women. Clearly not noticing the roiling anger, she draped a cotton cloak around my small shoulders and asked, "What is your name?" Leaving some silence in the air, I finally answered in a small voice, "Yumi." A pause.

"What? I'm sorry, come again." she stammered.

Louder this time I announced "My name is Yumi."

(Flashback ends)

"Yu...umi...YUMI!" I jolted upright. "Yeah?" "You're dreaming again. Come on daydreamer we have to prepare for tonight." Getting up from my seat, I stood and looked around. This was where I was now. I had learned the skills I needed to kill. My sharpshooting skills were my pride since they would be the ones I use to avenge my mother and shoot her murderer in the head. Just like he did to her. I adeptly made my way towards my eager ally. Asuna was the same. Her village was burned down by those murderers. While having the same goal, we easily warmed up to each other on the first training day. Coincidently, we were both roomies, which made it really convenient to change considering the fact that changing in the same room as a male was something we both wanted to avoid.

"Man, I thought he would never stop! That commander talks too much. That's why all his hair fell out. All the energy goes to his mouth instead of his hair follicles," exclaimed Asuna. The wide practice field outside the debriefing room came into view from the dark narrow hall as we pushed open the metal fortified door.

"So what you think of the mission, Yu? Excited? Revved up?" inquired Asuna while doing one of those cheesy "wanna fight?" moves with her fists. Her enthusiasm released itself in the form of loud words in my ear. She was always full of energy. But that's what I liked about her. And today, my enthusiasm matched hers. Flipping the rough strands of the fake hairdo out of my face, I calmly patted her shoulder and replied,

"I can't wait to wreak havoc on those guys."

No other words were needed. My closest ally saw it in my eyes.

I was ready to kill.


End file.
